


chasing a feeling

by androgenius



Series: Dimilix Week [7]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Sex, Birthday, Blow Jobs, Cockblocking, Family Bonding, First Time, Hand Jobs, M/M, Rimming, Teasing, no beta we die like Glenn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:08:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22821529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/androgenius/pseuds/androgenius
Summary: Dimilix Week Day 7 - Family / Felix's BirthdayAfter finally figuring out their feelings for each other, Felix and Dimitri are itching to get busy. Unfortunately, their families, friends, and lives overall conspire to make sure they remain firmly cockblocked.Until they aren't.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Felix Hugo Fraldarius
Series: Dimilix Week [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1634758
Comments: 6
Kudos: 101
Collections: 2020 Dimilix Week





	chasing a feeling

**Author's Note:**

> **PLEASE** be sure to click the "Show Creator's Style" button at the top of your AO3 page before reading! Otherwise Dimitri and Felix's texts won't show up correctly! It should look something like this:
> 
>   
>    
> 
> 
> With that out of the way, this is a sidestory that belongs in the "[needle in a haystack](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22725799)" universe! If you'd like to know how Dimitri and Felix got together (or simply wish to put together some of the backstory mentioned here), you might want to read it first! 

"I hate this."

The fact that Felix is perfectly aware of why, exactly, it's happening, changes nothing. 

He's going to kill Glenn. 

All he'd wanted was a quiet, blissful rest of his birthday, ideally spent making out with his new boyfriend. He wouldn't have objected to a blowjob, either. 

Instead--

"You know, we were going to leave you alone like you asked, but then Glenn reminded us of how much fun our family birthday evenings always were, and with him actually back from university for tonight--"

"He lives forty minutes away. He literally comes back here at least once a week to drop off his laundry."

"-- and, well," his mother continues, entirely undaunted as ever, "now that you've even brought a guest, I do rather think that it wasn't a terrible idea. It'll be like we're having a small party for you!"

"I hate parties." He levels a narrow glare at Glenn. "Glenn knows." 

"Oh, I didn't mean to upset you, sweetie. I'm sure he meant well. Didn't you, Glenn?"

Felix doesn't bother offering him the benefit of the doubt. He knows he doesn't deserve it. "Mom, you're fine, you've done nothing wrong. Glenn, it's wrong to lie to your mother, so don't even try."

"The birthday boy is so ornery tonight, mom. I feel like he's kinda lost cake privileges now."

"I don't even like cake."

"Oh, don't pay attention to him, you know I wouldn't make you a cake," his mother tells him, coming up to pick a bit of nonexistent lint off his shoulder. "I made daphnel stew. We'll all have fun, I promise. Why don't you introduce us to your friend?"

"You already know him. And--" He clears his throat. "He's not a friend."

"He's not?"

"I think what Fefe is trying to say is that he's getting laid now, and you're never getting grandkids."

"Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd," Dimitri cuts in, stepping forward to hold his hand out, all smiles and endless charm. "While I believe we've met before, the pleasure was and still is all mine."

Well, fuck. Like he wasn't already perfectly aware of the fact that he's in love with the fucker. Even his mother is blushing, and he can't even blame her.

"Oh-- little Dima? You've grown up so much! Fe used to always talk about you, you know, and when you moved schools--"

" _Mother._ "

"-- well, he was just heartbroken! Honestly, we weren't sure if he'd end up finding other friends. It was such a stroke of luck when he finally met Sylvain--"

"Oh, stop embarrassing him in front of his boyfriend," Rodrigue says, pausing briefly to come up behind his wife to press a kiss to her cheek. "You know, your father and I go quite a way's back, Dimitri. I'm surprised I didn't hear about you two sooner."

"Felix only decided to accept my affections today." 

He's about to object to... _everything_ happening around him right now when Dimitri takes his hand to squeeze, his smile bright and warm enough to sink into. Just looking at him makes him feel like a cat stretching out in a sunny spot-- selfish, but impossibly happy.

"That's something to be celebrated, isn't it!" his mother says, clapping in delight as she grabs several plates and cutlery sets. "If you'd prefer us to celebrate that instead of your birthday, Fe?"

"Both is fine," he grumbles. There's an excess of attention being paid to him either way. 

Glenn _knows this_ , Felix still throwing him sour glares even as he sits down at the table beside Dimitri. If he's honest, it's a bit disorienting that he's here at all, instead of just in Felix's thoughts and daydreams. It's like his worlds-- fantasy and reality-- are wholesale colliding. On the one hand, he wants to be pissy with Glenn for being an ass on purpose. On the other, he's deliriously happy. It's dizzying. 

And then Dimitri takes his hand under the table, and he forgets why he's here at all. What was that about blowjobs? He can barely even hold hands without causing a public incident.

"Isn't this your favorite, Felix? I remember that being the case at the last of your birthdays I attended."

 _The last good one,_ his mind adds. "Yeah."

"I'm glad you haven't changed too much."

Seriously, _fuck_ Glenn for distracting him even a little bit from the wonderful boy at his side. 

"You did this because of the XBOX, didn't you," he says, his glare returning to his brother.

"I couldn't possibly know what you're talking about."

"I hope you realize," he starts, waiting until both their parents are in the kitchen and well out of earshot. "You can be as vigilant as you want. At one point, we will both be in this house while you're not. And then? We're going to fuck on your bed."

" _Felix!_ "

Felix squeezes Dimitri's hand. They can discuss the finer details of that arrangement later.

"All that for a little birthday party in honor of you and your new fuckbuddy? You wound me, little brother."

" _Boyfriend._ He's my _boyfriend._ " 

With their parents returning to the room with a large pot of stew-- and a _candle_ for him to blow out, which seems entirely unnecessary-- Felix sits back, leaving Glenn off the hook for now. Glenn's attention is promptly replaced by Dimitri's, his lips ghosting over the shell of his ear as he whispers, cupping one hand-- the one not in Felix's-- over his ear. "You want us to--"

It's a terrible combination. Having Dimitri touch him-- however unintentionally-- in such an intimate way... _while_ bringing up the two of them in bed together? 

He grits his teeth and tries not to let himself get a visible chubby. Turning to look at a brightly flushed Dimitri, he nods, slow.

"Mmhmm."

Blowing out his candle-- still ridiculous, frankly-- Felix picks up his spoon while he waits for his father to finish serving the five of them. Turning to Dimitri, he drops his voice to a whisper. "Look at that. Now we're both legal." 

The words take a moment to sink in before his eyes widen, and-- fuck, he's too damn cute-- Felix draws his hand over to him under the table. 

Until he can feel him, half-hard. 

Fresh color steals its way across his cheeks, Dimitri suddenly extremely focused on the stew before him-- and for just a moment, he thinks that he'll either take his hand back or at least... not move it. 

Until he does, curiosity seemingly getting the better of him. It's Felix's turn for his eyes to widen, Dimitri's fingers seeking out a path around his half-hard cock, tracing its shape--

"-- Felix?"

 _Fuck_.

"Uh. What was the question?"

"Why did it take you so long to accept Dimitri's-- attention, was it?"

"Affections, ma'am."

Goddess, he's so _polite_.

"Oh, you don't have to call me that, dear. _Mom_ is just fine for you."

"I--" He's struggling to think straight. "I didn't think he liked me."

"You feeling okay, baby brother?" Glenn grins, putting his hand on his forehead. "That was shockingly honest of you."

Swatting his hand away-- and fuck, Felix _knows_ he's red-- he throws a glower at his brother. "You know, your face would make a great addition to the floor."

"I'm sure you already know this about my brother, but he gets _bitchy_ when he's on the defensive."

"Glenn," his father starts before he even has a chance to tell Glenn to shove _something_ where the sun doesn't shine, "it _is_ Felix's birthday. _Behave._ "

As far as Felix is concerned, the only reasonable definition of _behaving_ would involve leaving him and Dimitri entirely alone right now, his touch impossibly distracting.

"You're right, dad," Glenn says, somehow not picking up on his brother's wishes _at all_ , "we should be focusing on the more important thing-- regaling Felix's new boyfriend with all his most embarrassing childhood stories.

Felix _knows_ he's distracted. Otherwise, he would be firing back _something_ at Glenn right now, something more substantial than a glare. But Dimitri is still touching him through his jeans, and he rather thinks he might die of impatience. 

The only reason they're even here in the first place is because he promised to be home for dinner. Despite the fact that all he really wanted to do was make up for as much lost time with Dimitri as possible. Ideally, by making out in his car, if nothing else. 

As it is, he gets to content himself with table scraps-- table scraps which are doing little more than making him slowly go insane with the knowledge of how good Dimitri's hand would likely feel in earnest, skin against skin, without the hindrances of table and fabric. 

The phone rings, tearing his mother out of her story-- he's almost glad he doesn't know what it's actually about-- and him out of his horny reverie. His father moves to stand.

"-- anyway, he cried so much that day! Well, I suppose he cried a lot in general. Until he just kind of stopped. That was right around the time when y--"

"Mother."

"Felix, it's your grandmother. She wants to wish you a happy birthday."

The hand disappears from his lap. Felix is less than amused.

"Tell her I'm eating."

" _Felix._ "

He sighs. "Fine." Nothing quite like a call from one's grandmother to ruin the mood. He just needs to... make sure that Glenn can't see his obvious boner. Trapping it beneath his waistband while adjusting himself, he moves to stand, crossing the room as surreptitiously as possible.

It doesn't help. Glenn is still laughing to himself, Felix instead opting to look at his... Seiros, his _boyfriend._ That will take some getting used to, this level of happiness.

"Grandma." 

&

It takes too long. 

Dimitri's hand doesn't return to his lap after that-- safer that way, Glenn _is_ still being a dick for the Red Bull-XBOX incident-- and after they finish dinner, Glenn doesn't let up, suggesting family charades. His mother looks just happy enough about it that Felix ultimately allows just one short game-- but after that, Dimitri has to get home, and he's left with a kiss on the cheek to finish off the evening. 

He's almost worried that Dimitri has just decided to be done with it, with him-- maybe he was too forward?-- but then he gets a text.

Dimitri  
  
**Today** 8:11 PM  
I'm so sorry I had to leave so suddenly. My parents were concerned as to my whereabouts. It seems that I was so engrossed in your company that I lost track of time :)  
I had a very good time tonight. Your family is very fun!  
Is there any chance you might be free at all during the rest of this week? Perhaps the weekend?  
yeah of course  
I want to see you again too  
sorry my brother was such an ass  
Oh no, I didn't mind! It's obvious he cares about you deeply :)  
he cares about his xbox  
you free tomorrow?  
I am :)  
And I would love to see you :)  
Perhaps you could come over to my place after school? My parents would love to meet you.  
Again :)  
yeah  
ok

Felix blinks, slowly setting the phone down. How many smileys can one person use? Which isn't to say that they don't make his heart skip. Of course they do. He'd never admit to it, but that hardly makes it any less true. They're from Dimitri, after all.

He might be totally wrong about his brother, but he can live with that.

And he really wants to see him again. Tomorrow, even.

To _meet his parents._

In an official boyfriend capacity.

Seiros help him.

&

For a family so utterly proper and well-mannered, Felix isn't sure what could have made for a weirder evening than what they're doing right now. 

Sitting around the family dinner table playing Cards Against Humanity. 

_Hey there, Young Scientists! Put on your lab coats and strap on your safety goggles, because today we're learning about ____!_

"Uh," says Felix, staring at the obvious choice of _Uranus_ in his hands and debating it anyway.

These are his boyfriend's parents. Well-- his father and step-mother. And then his step-sister. Out of the five people at this table, he's only met his father before, which has only managed to make things slightly less weird.

Edelgard is... interesting. Where Dimitri's ascent to the top of the high school social pyramid has been nigh effortless-- a product of kindness, charisma, selflessness, and innate talent-- Edelgard has had to claw her way to the top. He supposes it makes sense that she'd be as fierce a competitor as she is, but--

It also just kind of seems like she hates Dimitri for how easy he's had it, not that he appears to have noticed.

Fuck it. He's playing _Uranus._

"Science?" Dimitri chuckles, having picked up all the cards. "Edie, that was yours, wasn't it?"

"It was."

"That was quite clever of you."

"It was just a matter of luck, Dimitri. I did almost play it earlier, you know."

"Well, in that case, luck just won you the round!"

He can't believe he wasted _Uranus_ on that. Or that he's actually feeling jealous of Edelgard. Dimitri's _sister_ \-- honestly, what's wrong with him?

Beneath the table, Felix's hand finds Dimitri's thigh.

"Felix, Dimitri mentioned it was your birthday yesterday."

"Yes, sir."

Lambert chuckles. "No need such for such formality here. Besides, I knew you back when you would still cling to Dimitri and cry if anyone tried to take him away from you."

 _Why_ is that the one thing that everyone seems to remember so clearly?

"At any rate," his father continues, "happy birthday. I apologize for not having anything to gift you, but at least we all got to get together like this."

"I don't mind."

His hand slides further up, Dimitri squirming as he lets his hand dip between his legs. 

"You okay there?" Edelgard asks, cocking her head at her brother.

He lets out a nervous chuckle, quick to dismiss his sister's concern as he smiles. "I'm fine! Don't worry about me!" 

He's barely even paying attention to the game anymore, far too determined to give just as good as he got the night prior. Dimitri doesn't take long getting hard, which makes Felix wonder-- how long has he been depriving himself? Is he just that sensitive, or that into the risk involved in this? The other alternative is that he's just that into _Felix_ , but he scraps that notion quickly. That would be insane. 

"The inspiration for my startup is _a disappointing birthday party_?" Edie wrinkles her nose.

 _It's what I had yesterday,_ Felix's brain supplies. "I had to get rid of one, get off my back."

Dimitri is _huge._ To say that he's getting turned on is an understatement. By Sothis, he could have had that inside of h--

" _Being rich_ wins that round. Lambert, that was you, wasn't it?"

"It was! Here's the card for the next round--"

"Ah," Dimitri says, a sheepish smile on his face. "Before we continue, Felix and I had actually hoped to spend some time just the two of us--"

"You promised to help me with my project," Edelgard interrupts, staring at him across the table. Her gaze is laced with enough meaning that Felix _knows_ she knows. That she's doing this on purpose.

"Oh, that's right! I did, didn't I... I'm so sorry, Edie; of course I'll help."

"I'm changing her name to _Cockblock_ in your phone," Felix whispers to Dimitri before standing with a clatter of his chair. 

&

Dimitri  
  
**Today** 9:47 PM  
I'm so sorry about Edie.  
I really wanted to spend more time with you tonight.  
not like it's your fault  
no offense but she doesn't seem to like you too much?  
I don't know why :(  
still no reason to cockblock you  
Ah, about that...  
  
yeah?  
I really do... want to.  
With you.  
oh  
yeah  
me too  
It doesn't have to happen anytime soon!  
It's just... hard not to think about.  
yeah  
you would have really been okay with us fooling around upstairs?  
I know, it's not really like me :(  
I'm sorry :(  
no don't  
I like it  
:)  
I must admit, I am not a fan of the thought of something so serious being relegated to a car.  
I would prefer a bed.  
yeah  
  
I apologize, this is all rather new to me.  
no that's fine  
I'll rent us a hotel room if I have to  
Oh, you really needn't go to all that trouble just for me!  
nah I want to  
last resort only though  
All right :)  
If you're sure :)

&

He is sure, as it turns out, which surprises only one of them. But then Dimitri tells him not to do anything drastic, and certainly not to do it on Saturday. 

That, in and of itself, is already suspicious enough.

But then Dimitri ends up picking him up for a "date" only to drive him to an undisclosed mystery destination, and the suspicions multiply tenfold. 

The room is dark before Dimitri flips the light switch, his friends-- Sylvain, Ingrid, Annie, Ashe, Mercedes-- jumping up to yell " _surprise!_ "

"Ugh," he says.

"Happy Birthday, Felix!"

"We know it's two days late, but we wanted you to get to celebrate!"

"This is the worst thing and I hate all of you." He turns to his boyfriend. "Did you do this?"

"Not on my own. It was Annie's idea, we just all helped," Dimitri says, leaning in to press a kiss to his cheek.

"Ugh," he says again. _Of course_ it had to be Annie. The one person he can't possibly get mad at.

He can't believe they've been together three days and only managed to make out once, on the first night. It's a tragedy. He can hardly express how much rather he'd be getting railed right about now, though he'd settle for a lot less. Even a tongue in his mouth would be an improvement over the last few days--

"Come on, Felix! Don't be a spoilsport! I'll even sing for you if it makes the whole eating-cake-with-your-friends part less terrible?"

"Absolutely not."

"Felix!"

"It's already impossible to be mad at you. I don't need to raise the bar even higher for no reason."

&

It's not the worst evening in the world. Truth be told, he's had worse, especially as far as birthday parties go. But they hang out late enough that doing anything afterward is more or less off the table, and Dimitri ends up dropping Felix off at home with little more than a quick kiss. 

And though he comes over again the next day for lunch, their attempt to get some privacy in Felix's room after is unceremoniously cut off when Glenn decides to join them in watching whatever show Felix absolutely had not been paying attention to, his focus instead on the hand in Dimitri's pants. 

So much for that. 

Football season might be over, but Felix knows that Dimitri still trains twice a week for the team, and that means short evenings. Add their calc test that week, and, well. 

He just keeps getting blue-balled. 

Is it so wrong of him to want to lose his virginity to his boyfriend? Why is the world so intent on ruining his life?

Even his attempt to bribe Glenn doesn't ultimately succeed, which he's particularly bitter about. 

So he waits, starting to save up for the sake of booking a nice hotel room for just one night. It feels rather pathetic, but. He's not about to beg his dad for money to help him get laid. He could, but. He's not that desperate _yet._

There's still time for that, though.

&

Dimitri  
  
**Today** 3:44 PM  
Happy Birthday :)  
what? my birthday was last weekend  
I have a surprise for you :)  
but you already got me stuff  
?  
That was all for Valentine's Day. I think I may finally have found a way to pay you back for how happy you've made me :)  
you don't have to pay me back for that  
I want to :)  
what's the surprise?  
Do you remember the lake house?  
We went there for my 8th birthday party.  
yeah  
It's all ours next weekend :)  
Father gave me the keys. He knows it's for us.  
wow  
shit  
ok  
Is this too much? :(  
I know we haven't been together for very long...  
it's not too much  
thank you for doing this  
:)  
Remind me to tell you something when we get up to the cabin :)  
sure  
I can't wait :)

&

_Cabin_ is honestly putting it lightly and not even remotely doing it justice. Not when it's larger than most people's houses, period. But Dimitri's family has always been well-off and well-connected, not that his own family has ever been any different. 

"I remember my first time here," he says, shutting the car door behind him. "Your mother made the best cheesy bread I've ever had."

"That's right, she did, didn't she? I do miss that bread." Dimitri smiles, taking hold of Felix's hand simply for their walk up the snow-laden walkway to the front door.

"You can't even taste it."

"That bread is far more than just its flavor profile, Felix. It's an _experience._ "

"I suppose I can't argue with that."

The place is just as big as he remembers, and certainly just as nice. A part of him is almost disappointed that it isn't summer-- the lake would have been nice to go out on with the boat or the jet skis, or simply just to swim in-- but he supposes he can't fault this view, either, heavy snowflakes slowly making their way onto the ground as Dimitri brushes his coat off with his free hand, the other occupied with a small bag. Not his overnight bag, but-- he hasn't asked, not yet. 

"Have we been relegated to a particular room?"

"... no."

"And we'll be taking full advantage of that?"

"I-- yes, but please, Felix-- I'm sure this goes without saying, but my father obviously cannot find out about this. Or anyone else in either of our families."

"What do you take me for, an idiot? Like I'd want to lose this level of privilege." Setting down his own overnight bag on the couch, he allows the place another once-over, Felix turning as he walks to take it all in again. It really is a nice place. "I swear, if Glenn shows up now demanding that we watch _Cake Wars_ with him..."

"There's only two sets of keys to this place, and I have both of them right now. Father wanted to keep the second set in case of an emergency, but... it's been so hard to get any privacy--"

Fuck, he's perfect. Sheepish as he is, even the guilt playing out on his features is lovely.

Rounding the couch, Felix doesn't dare hesitate, just taking Dimitri's face in his hands to kiss him, hard and deep in precisely the ways he's wanted to for-- far too long. Since the night of his birthday, honestly. 

And judging by the moan that leaves Dimitri against his lips-- he's felt rather the same.

He's about to lead the way to the master bedroom when Dimitri stops him, pulling back with a shake of his head. "Hang on--" 

"If you're about to tell me that you forgot to check in with your dog--"

"No, no, we just-- need this," he says, grabbing the small mystery bag. 

Well. He supposes he's about to get an answer as to its contents far sooner than he expected to. 

"What is it?"

"I packed a few things that I read we might need," Dimitri says. Felix isn't sure if he's _ever_ seen him this red. "I don't want this to hurt you--"

"I'm hardly made of porcelain," he mutters, but Dimitri is already unzipping it to pull out the first bottle to show Felix. "Numbing lubricant?"

"Yes. It's supposed to be good for the f-- oh." He blinks, staring at Felix. "Have-- have you done this before?"

"What? No! Of course not, this is--" He clears his throat. "It's my first time. Isn't it yours?"

"Ah, what a relief. Yes, it is. It's supposed to be good for that."

Grabbing the bottle, Felix squints to read the exceedingly fine print. They're not even being subtle. "Where did you even get this?"

"I-- ah, um. A sex shop. The lady working there was extremely helpful." 

He blinks, momentarily dumbfounded. As hard as it is to believe that Dimitri, of all people, actually drove to a sex shop, got out of his car, entered the store, and interacted with someone before purchasing _numbing lubricant_ specifically for first time anal sex, the mental image is far too good for him to deny. 

"What _else_ is in the bag?"

"Ah... other lubricants in case you didn't like that one... dental dams... condoms..."

"We don't-- need those things. This is the first time for both of us, it's not even like we could catch anything."

"I also have aromatherapy oils, candles, rose petals--"

" _Seiros,_ that's so much," he mutters, wondering what on earth he did to deserve someone like Dimitri in the first place. "You know you don't need all that stuff, right? I'm--" He clears his throat, willing his face not to turn red. "Obviously I wouldn't be here if--" It's no use. This is too embarrassing. "Come on," he says, grabbing Dimitri's hand. "The numbing stuff is enough."

Leading him into the bedroom-- damn, he's still holding onto the damn bag of exceedingly romantic things, Felix will have to lovingly pry that from his grasp-- he tosses the bottle of lubricant onto the bed before pulling him close to kiss again. Once more, with feeling. 

The bag hits the floor the next moment, Felix's hand running down Dimitri's front to slowly undo the closure of his slacks. His lips trace a path down over cheek and jaw before traveling down his throat-- only to be met with a groan from Dimitri.

"Oh, _Felix--_ " He shudders, his hips bucking up against Felix's hand the second it finds its way past his trousers to cup him. "I've thought about this so much, ever since-- ah, ever since you put my hand in your lap."

He pauses, pulling back mid-hickey to look up at him. "Not before that?"

"Ah," Dimitri laughs, soft and sheepish, "in truth, I didn't think you'd ever return my affections. So-- only after the, ah... dreams."

"You had dreams?" Withdrawing his hand to a soft noise of protest, Felix smiles.

"Felix, please. I may exude an aura of good behavior and excellent manners, but-- I am still a man."

"Tell me about them sometime," he says, and slips his hand past the waistband of his underwear, Dimitri letting out a sharp gasp. "You really are huge. The numbing stuff wasn't a bad idea."

" _Huge?_ "

"Is this new information?"

"I-- yes? I didn't realize it was anything other than average."

Felix blinks. He's a grower, so... somehow, no one's ever seen or felt this but him. 

Oh, he likes that thought _a lot_. 

"Yeah, you're huge."

"Is that... isn't that a hindrance?"

"Of course not. I'm tough." (It's only mildly daunting.)

"But... this is your first time doing this."

"So? Why would I let that hold me back?"

That seems to quell his worries-- at least for the time being-- Felix taking that moment to return to the hickey that had slowly begun to form on his neck earlier. Either Dimitri doesn't care about anyone seeing that on him-- which would admittedly be very hot of him-- or he's not aware that it's happening, not while Felix returns to gently stroking his cock, bare flesh on bare flesh. 

" _Oh,_ goddess--"

"It's Felix, actually," he mutters against skin before pulling back to admire his handiwork. Yeah, that should last at least a couple of days. "Get on the bed."

Dimitri takes directions well. He didn't use to need to, and certainly not from Felix, but it's a nice thing to learn. He's so good at being the leader at school, but here, where it's just them and a bed... 

Felix watches him fold like a paper man and can't help but smile.

"Felix, please." 

His voice wavers. It's a lovely sound, Felix crawling up onto the bed to hover over him. "Please _what_?"

"Please stop teasing me so. I've been yearning to be touched by you since--"

"Since that first night?"

"Well-- yes, I suppose, in a way. But that night I was far more fixated on the thought of tending to you. Of..."

"Of?"

"Of... using my... mouth."

"Oh."

"In truth, the thought of you returning the favor didn't truly cross me until we were at my house." 

Trailing his fingers over his length-- through fabric once more, his underwear still firmly in place, having hardly shifted at all from Felix's earlier ministrations-- he lets out a low chuckle. "Are you enjoying this? Or would you prefer to be using your mouth?"

"Yes. Ah-- that is, I am enjoying it, of course, but--"

He can read between the lines. Drawing back to sit on his haunches, Felix starts to pull off his shirt before turning his attention anywhere else. He's not about to put on a _show_ for Dimitri, but... he's not above taking his time, either. Each clothing item is discarded slowly and deliberately until he's down to nothing but his underwear. But that, too, is pushed down, his cock springing free from the elastic upon its descent.

"Felix... you hardly give yourself enough credit."

"Don't patronize me, I know I'm hardly anything substantial."

"I didn't mean to insult you, really! I just thought-- if I really am as... ah, _substantial_ as you say... then you must be at least above average. More than that, I think that you're-- I think that it's--" Dimitri licks his lips and swallows, Felix watching his Adam's apple bob with either nerves or arousal, he can't quite tell. 

"Do you want a taste? I can grant you at least that much." Sitting back, his hands splayed behind him for support, Felix allows himself to spread his legs, knees drawn up. "Go on, then."

Dimitri is on all fours almost instantly, his gaze pleading. But he doesn't ask permission, not again, instead just crawling up to Felix to take his cock in his mouth-- and sink down. 

Felix knows he's relatively small. All the same, the last thing he actually expected Dimitri to do was to just deep-throat him at first attempt, a gargled noise escaping him as he stays with his face buried in his crotch. 

"Fuck," he hears himself mutter, his head falling back. _Goddess,_ if he'd known it would feel this good--

He _really_ hates Glenn now. 

Not willing to let him dwell on his brother even for a second, Dimitri pulls back to start on a slow rhythm with his mouth, Felix's fingers tangling in his hair to guide him. It's almost impossible not to succumb to the absurd desire to thrust up and into his throat again, but Felix settles for gritting his teeth and twisting his fingers into the sheets beneath them. 

"Seiros, _fuck,_ Dima--" 

He's about to come when he just pulls Dimitri off of his cock, a fistful of blonde in his hand as he shakes his head. "S-stop--"

"Wh-what?"

Sothis help them both, he looks so fucking _sad,_ Felix letting go of his hair with a sigh.

"I was about to _come,_ Dimitri. I don't know about you, but I'd prefer this not to be over quite that soon."

"You'll be able to get hard again," he says, and sinks back down on his cock, his hands kneading the flesh of his ass. 

Holy _shit._

"A- _agh--!_ " Felix gasps, this time just bucking senseless up into Dimitri's mouth. He wanted this, so he gets to deal with a throat full of cock. 

And cum, apparently. His wish. Feeling himself lose his footing on reality for a moment when Dimitri's tongue flicks over his frenulum-- and where the fuck did he learn that, anyway?-- he groans, fingers winding into his own hair to tug as he comes, hard. 

"Fucking--" Another grunt escapes him, but its aftershocks now, aftershocks through which he's being tended to more than lovingly, gently. The suction is gone, replaced with nothing but the blissfully soft nature of his tongue. Felix can't help but shudder. 

"Was it good?" Dimitri asks, pulling off of his rapidly-deflating cock to wipe the spit from his mouth with the back of his hand. 

"What the fuck do you think? I came like a fucking firehose."

"Ah... I do apologize. I may have been a bit overeager in my desire to taste you."

"You can't even taste it in the first place."

Dimitri disregards him. "But we do still have time for you to get hard again." A beat, Felix blinking as Dimitri sits up somewhat. "Might I perhaps rim you, Felix?"

If he'd been drinking something, it would no longer be in his mouth. Truly, Dimitri must be the only person in all of Faerghus to talk about the act of _eating ass_ in such an exceedingly polite way.

" _Four saints and a fuck_ , Dimitri, just eat my ass," he says, getting back on all fours before sacrificing one of his hands to spread himself open. "Goddess knows it'll need all the help it can get to fit that monster cock of yours up there."

"... Felix? Are you quite certain that this is a good idea? Because I really--"

" _Eat,_ " he orders, and Dimitri obliges, ever-eager.

He's good at this. It's the first thought that Felix manages to process, all despite the fact that, well. He's more than aware of the fact that he has no point of comparison. But it matters little. He knows how good this feels, and how hard Dimitri is trying for him. 

Besides, he wanted this, didn't he? Felix is hardly forcing his hand. 

Somewhere behind him, a sound catches him, Felix swallowing hard. He has a suspicion. There's no reason to be nervous, but--

The lubricated finger pressing into his ass both confirms his suspicions and makes him clench-- until Dimitri curls it, and--

"Where the _fuck_ did you learn this shit," Felix mutters, half-disbelief, half-jealousy.

"Books," Dimitri says, the tongue leaving his finger only to be replaced with a second, scissoring him now. "I had quite a bit of time to prepare for this properly, Felix. I did not wish to squander my one chance."

" _One chance--_ are you out of your damn mind? You think we're only going to do this _once?_ "

"I think if the first time had been dreadful, it may have colored your... opinion of going forward. Hm." Felix is about to tell him that he's _not that fucking shallow_ when Dimitri continues. "I fear I may have gotten some of the numbing lubricant on my tongue... it is rather numb, so I hope that speaks to its effectiveness?"

This idiot. 

"Of course it--" He sighs. "I wouldn't have ditched you if you were shit at fucking. We're both new at this." 

"I suppose you're right." Dimitri places a soft kiss to the base of his spine, Felix doing his best to suppress a shiver and failing miserably. "I'm going to add three now, is that all right?"

"What? Yes, obviously. Just get to it." 

Three is _a lot,_ it turns out, Felix inhaling sharply, suddenly finding himself increasingly grateful for Dimitri's excursion to the sex shop. Because Dimitri is a lot thicker than three fingers, and-- "Add four," he says, swallowing hard.

"Felix?"

"I know what I'm saying. I'll need to be able to take at least that many if I want to take your cock."

A chuckle resounds behind him, Felix feeling four fingers press inside of him now. "You truly are incredible, Felix. I am so grateful."

"I--" Felix grits his teeth, trying to focus on the stretching instead of the embarrassment looming before him. "Yeah."

This is so much easier over text.

"You're starting to relax for me. It's incredible, Felix. It's like your body is accepting me as I am without question, much like you have."

"You're--" This is so much. The feelings overlap until there is only _too much,_ Felix gritting his teeth as he presses his forehead into the sheets. "Ah--"

"Are you all right, Felix?"

"Yeah, just--" He's panting. "It's a lot."

"Do I need to go back to three fingers? I don't mind--"

" _Emotionally,_ " he croaks out, feeling foreign in his own body. "Can we just fuck, please? I'm ready."

He doesn't feel nearly as sure as he hopes he sounds, Felix swallowing hard as Dimitri's hand pauses in its slow, gentle thrusts hoping to ready him.

"Ah-- that reminds me of what I wished to tell you."

Oh, right. He'd said something like that over text, hadn't he?

Dimitri removes his fingers, Felix sitting back on his haunches to look over his shoulder to catch the sight of the last of his clothes coming off now, too. Right. 

"I apologize for only doing this now. If it made you uncomfortable that I was not yet undressed--"

"Don't be dumb. Just finish up and lie down."

Grabbing the bottle of lubricant, Dimitri sits back to give his cock a good coating before lying back. "How would you like to do this?"

"I'm going to control the pace at first," he says, waiting for Dimitri to get properly comfortable before straddling his thighs. "And after that... I guess we'll see." A beat. "Are you going to tell me about the thing now?" He's curious now, can't help it.

"I'm in love with you, Felix."

He feels like he's just been backhanded.

"That's what I wanted to tell you," Dimitri continues, undaunted, "before we did this. I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't-- if I wasn't. I wanted it to be special, but... it is special with you. And I'm grateful." 

"I--" Felix blinks. Oh, so this. This is happening now. "I--"

"You don't have to say it back," Dimitri says, far too quickly not to be transparent. "That's not why I--"

"I love you, too. I--" He clears his throat, eyes firmly closed. It feels like his face is on fire. "I'minlovewithyou,too."

The words leave him incredibly quickly, but judging by the smile on Dimitri's face-- now that he's looking in his general direction again-- he heard him just fine. 

So he lets himself get pulled into a kiss, deep and meaningful enough to border on uncomfortable, his hands shaking by the time they hit the pillow on either side of Dimitri's head. 

"Mm-- Felix," he says after pulling back, his forehead coming up to rest against Felix's. "I daresay I was correct."

He was. Felix hates that, but he was. He's hard again, one of the major benefits of being eighteen.

"Shut up," he says, reaching behind him to slowly line Dimitri's cock up at his entrance. 

Sinking down his length is slow and painful in a way he's never experienced. The stretching is... new, exceedingly so. Dimitri really _is_ huge, but-- it feels good, too. For once, there's nothing else to think about. Just... fitting that inside of him.

And he knows he can do it, too. He _knows._ His dreams have convinced him of at least that much. 

It takes a while for him to bottom out, and even longer still of them just waiting there for him to adjust before he starts moving, his hips slow to start a shallow rhythm on his cock. Rolling his hips to start, it's just enough stimulation for Dimitri-- who looks like he's dying from how much he's having to hold back-- that Felix doesn't feel guilty for taking a bit more time to get used to his size. 

It's important to have goals. Even if those goals include fitting his boyfriend's cock into his ass more easily.

The rolling of his hips slowly turns into actual movements up and down his cock, and that's when the shift happens, when Felix realizes just how good this-- otherwise incredibly uncomfortable-- act can actually feel, Dimitri's head nudging against his prostate on one particular downward motion. 

"Oh, _fuck,_ " he hears himself say, his head falling back. He has to-- has to do that again, and again, until he's seeing stars--

He chases the feeling until he's outrightly bouncing atop Dimitri's cock without a care in the world, fast and desperate, his cock twitching against his abdomen. Dimitri's gripping onto the pillow beneath his head hard enough that Felix is convinced he might tear it out of sheer pleasure alone, but he doesn't care, because why the fuck should he care? 

"F-Felix, you feel-- you feel _incredible--_ "

"Come and get it," he gasps, staring down at him in challenge. "Come fuck me like you mean that."

It happens instantaneously. One second he's bouncing atop Dimitri's cock, the next he's beneath him, having been flipped entirely. His legs are still splayed wide-- wider, perhaps-- and Dimitri is still hitting his prostate, but he's more rabid beast than man like this, and to say that it's turning Felix the fuck on would be an understatement.

"Ah, fuck, _fuck,_ Dimitri--"

"No," he gasps, shaking his head. 

"Dimi?" He feels dizzy.

"No."

" _Dima--_ "

" _Yes,_ " he gasps, pounding into him with the reckless abandon Felix would have asked of him regardless. "Felix--"

Reaching up, Felix pulls him into another kiss, anything to drown out the less than dignified noises leaving him. He knows no one else would hear him out here, certainly not, but Dimitri can hear him, and he's been more than embarrassed enough for one evening--

Dimitri pulls back, shaking his head before settling his forehead on his once more. "No, Felix. I want to hear you. Please-- please, allow me the pleasure of hearing you--"

"F-fine," he mutters, the sound half-drowned by a groan threatening the end of it. It's... so much. So, so much, emotionally more than anything else.

Fuck, he really does love him. Loves him so much--

Between them, Dimitri takes his cock in his hand, a shuddered breath leaving him. "I won't-- I won't last much longer, Fe-- I want to come with you--"

He nods, quickly. How could he not?

"D-do it, I want-- I want to feel you," he says, fully aware that he's being painfully honest and earnest in that sentiment. 

"I love you," Dimitri gasps, his jaw dropping as his hips start to stutter, his cock pulsing, throbbing inside of him.

 _Oh_. 

His hand stutters atop Felix's cock, too, but then he finds his rhythm again, quick to bring Felix over the edge alongside him, Dima's name on his lips. 

It really is _so much,_ and-- in every way. There's cum all over his chest, all over his insides, and he's never felt happier or more sore. 

"Iloveyou,too," he whispers, turning his face away to look at anything other than Dimitri. The sentiment is enough to earn him a soft kiss on the cheek from him, a fresh blush stealing its way across his cheeks once more. He pulls out slowly and carefully, as though the exit would have to be as gentle as the entry, and Felix still shudders at the feeling of not being so utterly stuffed to the brim with cock anymore. 

" _Fuck,_ " he mutters softly. "I guess I'll clean up now, huh?"

Dimitri shakes his head. "We're cleaning up together. Hang on." 

With another kiss-- this time one on the tip of his nose, absolutely ridiculous-- Dimitri disappears, grabbing his bag along the way. Felix has no idea what he's planning, but he's far too exhausted, sore, and well-fucked to stop him, and before he knows it, he realizes that he's smiling, wide. 

Finally, the door to the bathroom opens, Felix blinking as he moves to sit up. Candles, and dozens of them, the lights turned low, an entire bubble bath with rose petals...

"Dimitri," he says.

"You wouldn't let me pamper you before," he says, his smile endearingly charming and kind. "So I'm making up for it now. Happy Birthday, Felix."

He can't even fault him, not even a little bit. 

"I have no idea what you've done to me, but I'm not sure that I like it."

"You do," Dimitri says. And he's right.

Of course he is.

**Author's Note:**

> Workskin from [How to Make iOS Text Messages on AO3](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6434845/) by CodenameCarrot and La_Temperanza!!
> 
> Come yell about dimilix with me over on [twitter](https://www.twitter.com/androugenius)!


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